Don’t Wait Too Long: Helping a Loved One Start Their Estate Plan
It’s an all-too-common scenario: a person owns a home, investment accounts, maybe even received an inheritance—but they never create an estate plan. They know it’s important, yet they keep putting it off. When they pass away, their family is left to navigate a stressful and expensive situation that could have been avoided.
A recent Kiplinger article, “How to Get a Loved One to Visit an Estate Planning Attorney Before It’s Too Late,” offers thoughtful guidance on how to encourage loved ones—especially older family members—to take action.
Many people delay estate planning because they fear confronting their own mortality. Others feel overwhelmed by the complexity or worry about the cost. But the truth is, the cost of doing nothing is often far greater, both financially and emotionally, for the family left behind.
A Thoughtful Approach Can Make All the Difference
If your loved one has a trusted relationship with a financial advisor or CPA, start there. These professionals may be able to recommend an estate planning attorney who is a good fit. Hearing this suggestion from a trusted advisor often carries more weight than hearing it from a family member.
Offer to help ease the process: attend the meeting, arrange a video call, or simply be available for support. Estate planning attorneys are accustomed to working with people who are hesitant or anxious. A good attorney will take the time to understand the individual’s concerns and guide them through the process with empathy and clarity.
If there’s no professional team in place, you can still help by being present during initial conversations and sharing your own experiences. Avoid pressuring or insisting—instead, approach the topic with patience, empathy, and a focus on how estate planning can reflect the person’s wishes and values.
Make the Conversation Personal and Practical
Heavy-handed tactics rarely work. A softer approach that emphasizes dignity, respect, and the benefits of planning is far more effective. Remind your loved one that estate planning isn’t only about distributing assets—it also includes important decisions about healthcare and medical treatment while they are still alive.
Sometimes, explaining the legal and emotional burden placed on family members when no plan is in place will resonate. Other times, it helps to focus on what matters most to the individual. For example, the idea of helping a grandchild pay for college can be more motivating than the abstract concept of “getting your affairs in order.”
Don’t Forget to Review Existing Plans
Outdated estate plans can be just as problematic as having no plan at all—especially after major life events like divorce and remarriage. It’s not uncommon for life insurance policies, beneficiary designations, or healthcare directives to still name former spouses or in-laws. In some unfortunate cases, an ex-relative ends up with decision-making authority or financial benefits—simply because documents were never updated.
If any of these issues sound familiar, now is the time to act.
The Bottom Line
Estate planning doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With the right approach and support, even the most reluctant loved one can take meaningful steps to protect their legacy and ease the burden on their family. The sooner the conversation starts, the better the outcome will be for everyone involved.
These legal topics are provided to you by the President of QMC, Mark Easley. While QMC does not engage in the practice of law, Mr. Easley has practiced estate planning and elder law for over 30 years and is currently the principal at the Elder and Estate Planning Law Firm of St. Louis.